I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
