i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize