it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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