I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
