Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
