'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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