Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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