Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
