I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
