No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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