You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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