I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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