You just made me feel so damn special
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
