Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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