you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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