you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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