hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
