By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
