I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
