Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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