I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
