so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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