then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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