On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
