Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize