I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
