I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
