At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
