singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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