these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
