You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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