suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
