So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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