He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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