I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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