Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I met the friendliest cop last night
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
