I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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