she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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