ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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