He kissed a someone with a penis
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
