I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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