fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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