we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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