at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
