i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
