no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
