Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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