I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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