I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
