i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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