yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so that wasnt chicken after all
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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