1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize