have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
