No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
