hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
