haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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