super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
