I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
