i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
