look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
